The Hunt for the Green Lion

My first husband was a theoretical chemist (with a fascination for alchemy). While he was working on his PhD at The University of Washington we lived on a very meager budget. What we lacked in monetary funds we made up for in creativity.

One of our favorite ways to entertain ourselves was going on a Hunt for the Green Lion. We would select a "destination" at random (for example: there was a building with interesting lights on Capitol Hill and we wanted to figure out what it was but it could be less concrete, such as finding a better shortcut or a new bar to hang out at) and we would set out on the hunt. Keep in mind, the price of gas was much lower then than it is now; now this would not be an economical way to pass the time.

Sometimes we were successful on our quest, other times not. Sometimes we would find our goal months later (such as the building on Capitol Hill- turns out it was the Seattle Asian Art Museum). It is about celebrating the journey while still focusing on the destination but not basing the success of experience on arriving.

While searching for a graphic for this post, I discovered that the green lion has alchemical ties. I do not know exactly where Bill came up with the concept or name for our hunt. I have a vague recollection of it being a Johnson family tradition. It is possible that he was inspired by alchemy. But like the Hunt itself, the path of journey is of little consequence, nor is arriving; what matters most is savoring the experience.

May you savor your Hunt for the Green Lion.

A Zen Koan on non-attachment and thoughts [updated]

"If you own a teacup that is very precious to you, you have two choices: you can be obsessively careful with it, and live in fear that you'll drop it, or someone will chip it, or an earthquake will come and it will fall out of the cabinet. This object, intended to bring you pleasure, can become a burden.

Or, you can imagine that it is already broken -- because in an important sense, it is. It's sure to break someday, just as you're sure to die and the universe is sure to come to an end. Then, every time you drink from the cup will be a pleasure, a gift from the gods, a special reunion between you and something you had lost. You will be sure to appreciate every chance you have to use it, but having already said goodbye you will not need to use it with fear."


When I read this to Jeff, he went to the fatalist extreme, asserting that if this is the case, then why not commit suicide now, if all is already lost? Non-attachment is not about grieving over what is lost, it is about celebrating the joy when it is found. And knowing that moment will not last. Practitioners who have mastered mindfulness (of which I am not one) are so immersed in the moment that the moment prior and the one to come are not relevant. Whether the teacup exists in the next moment does not matter (or whether or not it existed in the moment previous) what matters is that in this moment the teacup exists and that is what is to be celebrated.

I used to hide $5 bills in my pockets. Obviously I knew I had done it. And the money was always mine. Yet imagine the joy I experienced upon reaching into my pocket and finding money!! While it seems a bit counter intuitive to use money as an example of non-attachment, to me that moment is what this koan is addressing.

May we learn to celebrate our cracks

When I was younger, I planned to grow old gracefully, to celebrate my laugh lines and wrinkles as testaments to a life well lived. However, as growing old becomes more reality than theory, I struggle with vanity and ego. Intellectually, I know how I want to be, however my ego interrupts my intention. I just saw the above post on Facebook and I am once again re-inspired to celebrate my journey and all the scars that stand as testament to it.

May we all learn to celebrate our cracks and fill them with gold.

I'm back!

It’s been over a year since I posted last. It’s been a bit of a rough year- mainly it’s a Lyme thing. Stupid Lyme.

A year and a half ago I fell ill with pneumonia (due to my suppressed immune system because of the Lyme) and as it turns out, I was likely having micro strokes. I lost some of my ability to read and write, which terrified me. Pre-Lyme, I always felt confident that I would always be able to rely on my intelligence and for that to be taken from me was too scary. Luckily I have an amazing support system. They helped me get through the semester and then helped me figure out the medical support so I could work towards recovery. This Fall I began neural feedback, which has helped tremendously! I have found my cognitive abilities that the Lyme took away from me are beginning to return to their previous strength. I even think that I might end up stronger cognitively because of this process; I don’t expect it but I am hopeful. Another unexpected benefit was the return of my immune system. I always knew that I would be able to “muscle” my way back to strength and stamina, that those were aspects of my overall health that I had some semblance of control over. To have my immune system rebound is truly a miracle!

I began several posts in the last year that I never finished writing or bothered to post. I am resolved to change this. My writing quality may not be what it was previously but I will release attachment to my ego and post. It has been said that something that is 90% perfect and published is better than something that is 100% perfect and not published. Well, you all might have to settle for 75% perfect at this point.

I look forward to actually writing again.