It was this week a year ago that I was in a self imposed
hell—swept away in an abusive relationship that I refused to find the strength
to leave… until it was almost too late. Everyone around me could see the abyss
I was heading towards but I refused to listen to their sage advice; instead I
allowed myself to be controlled as if he were Orpheus, playing the strings of
my emotions. Mindlessly I followed him as he pushed and pulled me, this way and
that, almost as if he was trying the limits of cruelty I would withstand.
When he tried to rape me, I was able to fight him off and he
then broke up with me. I was crushed but somewhere from the bottom of the
wreckage, I screamed, “No more! Never again.” He didn’t believe me and continued
to try to draw me back into his abusive games, but with the strength loaned to
me from my support system, I found the strength to resist.
I spent months healing, protecting myself, and fighting to
prevent this from happening to anyone else. Then, when I least expected it, I
found healthy love—possibly for the first time in my life. I went from the
lowest point in human relations to where I am growing and becoming better at
communication, giving/accepting support, and trust.
Would I choose to go through that again? No, but I receive solace knowing how I turned it around to make myself a better person and to help others.
My gratitude abounds!
My story from last year: Standing Tall as a Victim
I so understand your story.
ReplyDeleteI lived through an emotionally abusive relationship for 14 years. Left me in a deep depression by the end. Finally broke free and found healthy love. It's amazing! And I so appreciate it.