Roaning Out

Roan is a coat color found in many animals, notably horses, cattle and dogs. It is defined generally as an even mixture of white and pigmented hairs that does not "gray out" or fade as the animal ages. While the roan color might occur naturally from birth, as an animal ages and naturally turns grey it creates an illusion of “roaning out.”

This last year, my hair has been getting blonder and blonder. I have always been a strawberry blonde, so I am accustomed to red hairs intermingling with blonde ones. Though I am indoors most of the time lately, due to academic pressures and health limitations, I am noticing a significant increase in the percentage of blonde hairs. In some light, they almost look grey, which sends a wave of panic through me. Friends have assured me that the hairs are indeed blonde. I reassure myself that they are blonde because the hairs are fine, where grey hairs are typically thick and coarse.

I have always hoped that I was secure enough to “age gracefully” but now that once far off possibility is coming closer to reality. I am not certain if my vanity will usurp power and if so, what form that will take: dying my hair, plastic surgery, a red corvette?

I continue to turn to the Serenity Prayer: to accept the things I cannot change. Nothing is stagnant, we are in constant flux, clinging to what is and what was will only cause suffering. Release and acceptance of this process of change creates inner harmony.

But most importantly I want to remind all of you: I am not turning grey, I am merely roaning out.